People 40 and up remember being spanked, catching whippings, getting our collective behinds beat by parents who loved us, aunts and uncles who cared for us, grandparents who would not allow us to be bad and then have to live out the consequences of badness into adolescence and young adulthood. Many of us remember the punishment almost fondly, as though the beatings proved we were worth all that pain our folks felt when they did those things that hurt them more than they hurt us. Our folks did their best and to them, the rod was a belt, a switch, or open hand across the bottom.
And here's the thing. The inner child, that little one inside all us that acts out for attention and needs guidance, you have to use the rod on the inner child or risk spoiling it and it spoiling you. That inner child can be a wild beast and a petulant little brat, but underneath all that, your inner child is also a source of wonder, pure joy, and excitement that we all need to experience from time to time. We don't use the rod to crush that good, child-like spirit, but to coral that spirit and direct it towards healthy pursuits.
But here's the real thing. When a real shepherd uses a rod, they don't hit the sheep with the rod. They use the rod to set up a boundary to gently push, pull, and steer the sheep in the right direction. In my humble opinion, that bible verse many of us know doesn't give permission to beat your children and it doesn't give permission to beat your inner child. It gives you the responsibility of steering and guiding children and a good analogy for leading yourself. You can't beat children into being good. But you can lead them into being good.
Likewise, punishing yourself or beating yourself up are rarely useful or positive responses to doing something you know isn't good. Guilt and shame are two of the more useless emotions a person can feel. A sense of responsibility and indignation that make you want to act better, those things can be useful. More importantly, taking responsibility and being vigilant about that responsibility can lead you forward to discipline
My health is my responsibility and, as I approach 40, I feel more serious than ever about it. For example, when I'm fasting, I have learned (from watching my wife's style of self-discipline), that if I even taste food while preparing it for my kids, it will be much harder to resist eating. I've learned that I must put the fork down like the shepherd puts the rod down. Not one taste. Not one bite.
The funny thing is that food smells better when you fast this fastidiously. And when you do break the fast, the food tastes better, you are generally more deliberate about what you eat, and you generally appreciate the experience of eating more. Discipline is often confused with punishment. But the essential difference between discipline and punishment is that you get rewarded for discipline in a way punishment never really rewards anyone.
When you look at the rod and the staff of the shepherd, you see that the rod has a hook that can be used to pull the sheep back to the flock, and if needed, drag a sheep off the edge of a cliff. The staff is actually a club, a weapon used to beat off wolves or other preying animals. What a great analogy. Keep your staff to pull your inner child into alignment with your adult goals (as opposed to strangling yourself with guilt) and use your club to beat back temptations (as opposed to beating yourself up).So now, 14 days before 40, I will continue to work to use the rod on my inner-child. Not to beat it into submission, but to lead it into success.
Posts
