Today I was driving and listening to NPR when a vaguely familiar voice comes across the radio. It is a Black man who has just published a book called Black Man in a White Coat, based on his experience as a doctor in Durham, North Carolina. He seems super smart and insightful, and also vaguely familiar.
Then right before a break, the host describes the man as having gotten his medical degree from Duke and a law degree from Yale. Immediately I know why the voice is familiar. It is Damon Tweedy, one of my classmates at Yale. Here he is in a photo from this USA Today review of his book...
Now I don't remember all my classmates at Yale, but I definitely remembered Damon. First of all he was 6'6" and was already a medical doctor, both of which are pretty rare. But what I really recall about Damon was a conversation we had about a book he was working on that chronicled his experience in medical school and as a doctor. I remember him saying that he was in talks on a book deal and I recall him saying that he was in the early stages of finishing the manuscript.
Now, if you are reading this, you might be aware that I turn 40 this year. You might not be aware that I finished law school in 2002. So this conversation occurred over 13 years ago. 13 years. That's the time frame between that conversation about this book and the book being published and a New York Times bestseller, Oprah's 10 Titles to Pick Up Now, Goodreads best book of the month, and on and on with its success.
Now I know that Damon is an exceptional person. I knew it then and I could hear it in the NPR interview. He is brilliant and focused, conscientious and obviously serious about what he does. And it still took 13 years. Sometimes it doesn't matter how excellent you are. The time has to be right.
I haven't always felt this way, but I'm okay with not having "mainstream" success by 40, not being a 40 under 40 or 30 under 30 or 20... you get the picture. I'm okay with it because I relish the wisdom and perspective I've gained by having to work eight to sixes and by going to school, by having normal relationships and raising kids with love as the majority of what I could give. But I'd be lying if there weren't times when I've felt that some of my dreams around being a writer have taken too long, so long that they will never happen.
Then I hear Damon Tweedy on the radio today. And I'm not saying I'm Damon Tweedy, but it seems to have taken him 13 years. So my little 10 years of being a poet and 5 years of being serious about my writing and the last 15 days of being so committed that I would write every single day, isn't a damn diddly squat of time. If it takes 13 years to get on Oprah's radar so be it. I'll spend those 13 years working and building my family, and writing every day.
And I'm not saying I'm waiting 13 years. Quite the contrary, ain't a waiting bone left in my body. I'm going to get this. Now. But however long it takes for the tree to mature, the tree is worth it.
In the example of Damon Tweedy, there are so many reasons why it may have taken 13 years, none of which is that he wasn't good enough to make it happen. I'm certain that America is more receptive, more interested in a message about healthcare inequalities based on race and socioeconomics right now with race a much more prominent dialogue than it was 13 years ago. I'm glad his book is out now and not a year earlier. And I'll be happy when my preparation meets opportunity.
I won't judge success by the time of day it comes. I'll just have a breakfast mimosa, a lunch scotch, a dinner glass of Malbec, or some dessert Port when the time comes to clink a glass and say salud. Till then, I'll take heart in the success of others and enjoy what it can teach me about how it is done.
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